Praying and Praying and Giving it all to Him

I've heard many times over that I will be spiritually attacked, especially when I am on the brink of something big, when I pose the greatest risk to Satan. I think I must be under attack right now, because lately, I've been struggling A LOT with negative emotions and feeling bitterness and jealousy and other really unsavory things towards the people I'm supposed to be closest to. There are so many extraneous circumstances that it's hard to put my finger on just one issue that has thrown me into this tailspin. It's been so hard lately, that I couldn't even update this blog until I got it under control. Yes, I promised to be realistic about where I am, but gosh! I just couldn't believe how negative I had gotten and I couldn't bear to come on here and be the ultimate "Debbie Downer."


A couple of days ago, I had one of those "duh" moments...a moment when you realize that you have been doing something that you knew already that you weren't supposed to do. Here are some of them:


1) I am worrying way too much, trying to be in control way too much, and relying on myself and other imperfect humans way too much.


2) I have too many expectations. When I first started support raising or "partnership development," I went into it with the right intentions...that I wouldn't put any expectations on people. I had heard over and over again that people who you would never anticipate supporting you would support you, and people that you thought would absolutely support you wouldn't. And I have realized now that, even though I told myself not to expect anything but the unexpected, I find that I am still human, and I expected things from people.


3) I have placed far too much attention on getting my financial support raised and not enough on getting my prayer support needs met. Getting emotional, moral and prayer needs met during this transitional period and during the missional period is just as important, if not more important than the financial things.


SO, I have vowed now to do these things:

Give all my worries, emotions and praises to the only one who knows how to help. GOD.

Everyday, work on removing ALL my expectations regarding this process. 

Pray that God would give me a team of prayer supporters.

Thank you to those of you who are praying for me and supporting me! 

Thanks for keeping up with me. Blessings to you all!

Alison

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