Be Thou My Vision

I did something last year that really shocked some people (namely, my parents)...I got a tattoo.

The finished product

A zen-like moment of concentrating on not feeling
like needles were going straight into my bones.

In the process.

A pretty cool shot of the tatt in action.

But it has become something that has meant a lot to me and has also become a daily reminder of why I do what I do and is an encouragement when things get tough. It is also a reminder for me to be the most authentic Christian I can possibly be for one particular reason: you better not be a hypocrite when you have the cross permanently inked onto your body!

I chose to get "Be Thou My Vision" because it is one of my favorite hymns, and a pretty common one, too. I know I definitely had heard of it before I ever entertained the idea of accepting Christ. I also find that different lines of the lyrics speak to me at different times depending on what I'm struggling with at the moment.

Here are the words:

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,

naught be all else to me, save that thou art;

Thou my best thought by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom, thou my true word,

I ever with thee and thou with me Lord;

Thou my great Father, I thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Be thou my battle shield, sword for the fight;

Be thou my dignity, thou my delight;

Thou my soul's shelter, thou my high tower:

Raise thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise:

Thou mine inheritance now and always;

Thou and thou only first in my heart;

High King of Heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven's joys, O Bright Heaven's sun!;

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.

I think that right now and for the past few months, the words that have been hitting me the hardest would probably be, "Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise" and "thou and thou only first in my heart." I find that I sometimes feel a deep desire for human validation when I should be receiving that from God. What lines speak to you?

I'll leave you with one of my favorite versions of the song, one done by Pedro the Lion, one of my favorite bands.

Thanks for reading!

Alison

To Donate:

1. Send your checks made out to ECMI-USA with a separate note with my name, Alison Settle on it to this address:            ECMI-USA                                                                              PO Box 181                                                                   West Unity, OH 43570 

 2. Click here, specify me, Alison Settle, and you can donate through your amazon.com account. 

 3. Or for monthly donations via electronic transfer, send a request by email to rebekah.burkholder@ecmi.org

Gratitude Gratitude Gratitude

My posts are all maybe a little, teensy-weensy bit too pessimistic.

I am not always a positive person. In fact, I think I'm really too negative and/or hard on myself pretty much all the time. I'm always saying that this is too hard, or I'm too busy, or I can't make it work, or what have you. 

The bottom line is though, no matter what I say to the contrary, I am so joyful and EXCITED about what transition I am in. Sometimes it's hard to keep my eye on the prize, so things will get me down that really shouldn't, but all-in-all I have had one heck of a year and a half. From it all beginning at the missions conference in St. Louis and meeting ECMI, to the application process that nearly drove me completely  insane (I'm serious, I don't think CEO's go through the wringer like we long-term missionaries do!), to the whirlwind, jet-lagged-to-the-point-of-feeling-drunk trip to Rostock in September...this all has been such an experience, and I really wouldn't trade it. I was speaking to a good friend and coworker of mine earlier this week, and while going over my progress I realized that even if for some terrible reason it all fell through and I couldn't make it Germany, I still have learned and changed and grown so much. And not just in that Christian way of growing in my faith, but really maturing and becoming more of an adult. My priorities have all really become more clear and things that used to take up my life but didn't really matter have suddenly become just that: things that don't matter. If I woke up one day and suddenly Germany wasn't in the cards, I would be ok. 

But no worries! There are certainly no plans for me to veer off course. In fact, I received some lovely news this week! I have 2 new monthly supporters. I could not be more thrilled. Sometimes, when living this tough life gets me down and starts to feel like too much, I pray that God would give me a sign to tell me that I am on the right path and that He's still there. And lo and behold, I got the most lovely email from one of my favorite ECMI-USA folks, one of our board members and volunteers, Rebekah, explaining that I have new donors to add to the list! I am so, so grateful for those people and their willingness to hop on board with this crazy journey of mine. They are so awesome, in fact, that they joined my team virtually no questions asked. I give thanks to God for that sign from Him and for those faithful brothers and sisters who are trusting me to follow God's leadings.

A big prayer request I have for the moment is one that is definitely becoming more and more important as the days move closer and closer to my December 31st deadline. Lately, I've realized that I'm coming upon a point in my fundraising and other preparations where it is necessary to devote a greater and greater amount of my time and energy on these transitions. Unfortunately, it is and has been very difficult for the school where I work to be able to give me the flexibility I'm beginning to need. I am very, very understanding of this...we work with children, and if there is anything a child needs most, it is stability and trust in their caretakers. I am seeing now that it may be time to relinquish my position as a lead teacher or to possibly become a substitute, where I will have more say over the hours that I work. The issue with being a substitute, though, is that I will never be guaranteed to have the hours I will need to keep in order to continue receiving health insurance benefits. So, dear friends, if you wouldn't mind adding me to your list of prayers, it would great if you could pray for clarity in this situation and for God to continue to provide for me in accordance with His will and His timing. That whatever it may be, if it is His will for me to move on from this job, become a substitute, or continue on with the status quo, that He would open and close doors as necessary. I know that He is moving me in the right direction due to the way He has provided so far, and I know He will continue to. Praise God!

Thanks for reading and keeping me in your thoughts. :)

Blessings, 

Alison

To Donate:

1. Send your checks made out to ECMI-USA with a separate note with my name, Alison Settle on it to this address:            ECMI-USA
                                                                             PO Box 181
                                                                  West Unity, OH 43570

2. Click here, specify me, Alison Settle, and you can donate through your amazon.com account.

3. Or for monthly donations via electronic transfer, send a request by email to rebekah.burkholder@ecmi.org

Praying and Praying and Giving it all to Him

I've heard many times over that I will be spiritually attacked, especially when I am on the brink of something big, when I pose the greatest risk to Satan. I think I must be under attack right now, because lately, I've been struggling A LOT with negative emotions and feeling bitterness and jealousy and other really unsavory things towards the people I'm supposed to be closest to. There are so many extraneous circumstances that it's hard to put my finger on just one issue that has thrown me into this tailspin. It's been so hard lately, that I couldn't even update this blog until I got it under control. Yes, I promised to be realistic about where I am, but gosh! I just couldn't believe how negative I had gotten and I couldn't bear to come on here and be the ultimate "Debbie Downer."


A couple of days ago, I had one of those "duh" moments...a moment when you realize that you have been doing something that you knew already that you weren't supposed to do. Here are some of them:


1) I am worrying way too much, trying to be in control way too much, and relying on myself and other imperfect humans way too much.


2) I have too many expectations. When I first started support raising or "partnership development," I went into it with the right intentions...that I wouldn't put any expectations on people. I had heard over and over again that people who you would never anticipate supporting you would support you, and people that you thought would absolutely support you wouldn't. And I have realized now that, even though I told myself not to expect anything but the unexpected, I find that I am still human, and I expected things from people.


3) I have placed far too much attention on getting my financial support raised and not enough on getting my prayer support needs met. Getting emotional, moral and prayer needs met during this transitional period and during the missional period is just as important, if not more important than the financial things.


SO, I have vowed now to do these things:

Give all my worries, emotions and praises to the only one who knows how to help. GOD.

Everyday, work on removing ALL my expectations regarding this process. 

Pray that God would give me a team of prayer supporters.

Thank you to those of you who are praying for me and supporting me! 

Thanks for keeping up with me. Blessings to you all!

Alison

To Donate:

1. Send your checks made out to ECMI-USA with a separate note with my name, Alison Settle on it to this address:            ECMI-USA
                                                                             PO Box 181
                                                                  West Unity, OH 43570

2. Click here, specify me, Alison Settle, and you can donate through your amazon.com account.

3. Or for monthly donations via electronic transfer, send a request by email to rebekah.burkholder@ecmi.org